Sta.sh
I.Z. episode parodied: "Mysterious Mysteries"
Matsuda: L, you'll never believe this footage! *gets tackled by Belarus*
Russia: *runs in and grabs L by shirt* Do not listen, he LIES!!!!
L:...What? O_O"
Matsuda: *comes up, clothes tattered from fending off Belarus* The CN Trio's the
new kira, I can prove it!
Belarus: He's lying! With my big brother of course, but you should lock up his baka
comrades.
Mello: *runs up with shadow* Nuh uh, L! They're lying! NONE of us are kira!
L: Now, let's settle this...
--later---
L: I have called you all here to solve a case...
Belarus: No you didn't, we were already here. e_e
L:.......Is the trio really kira?! Matsuda here claims so with this footage. *turns
tape on, showing L singing "We are the Champions" very badly*
Everyone else: O.O...
L: O_O" *turns it off* Uh....that was an audition tape...for American
Idol....Anyway...Matsuda's tape. *plays the right one this time*
--tape--
Mello: *Sitting on bench with Shadow and Russia, Kyonshi watching a turtle*
Kyonshi, with your death note, we'll be the most unstoppable kiras ever!
Matsuda: Look, Belarus! They really are kira! It's on tape, as well as us
wittnessing it!
*camera falls onto side on ground and statics*
--reality--
L: *looks at trio questioningly*...
Mello: Lies, all LIES!!!
Matsuda: Is not!
Shadow: I say we need more evidence!
Matsuda: The tape's evidence enough!
L: Well...I agree. The tape might not be true, as it could be true as well. In
other words, why don't we hear eachother's versions of the tape's story. Matsuda?
Matsuda: Ok, here's the truth...
--Matsuda's version--
Matsuda: *extremely muscular with camera* I'm telling you, Belarus, they're kira.
Belarus: How could you think I'd deny someone so handsome, intelligent, and
muscular as you?
Trio: *sitting on bench, dressed like villians*
Mello: Kyonshi, with your death note, we'll be the most unstoppable kiras ever!
Muhahaha!
Matsuda: I must stop them! Hold it right there!
Russia: Ah! Matsuda! He is too handsome, intelligent, and muscular for us!
Matsuda: That's right, are you going to come along quitely? Or do I have to get
rough?
Mello: Kyonshi, attack!
*kyonshi lunges at Matsuda, but he K.O.s them each with a swift punch*
Belarus: Such violence...*faints, knocking camera out of distracted Matsuda's hand*
--Reality--
Belarus: *foot on Matsuda's head* HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A PANSY!!!
Matsuda: Ah! Russia, get your sister off!
Russia: But you're so muscular, afterall. You can get her off.
L: Russia...
Russia: Fine. *pulls her off*
L: So, who wants to share their version next?
Russia: We do!
Mello: Right, so here's how it REALLY went...
--Trio's version--
Mello: Kyonshi, with your death note, we'll be the most unstoppable kiras ever!
*Matsuda drops the camera*
Mello: Aw, Matsuda...How can we shoot our own movie if you keep dropping the
camera?
Matsuda: Sorry, but you know me: not too trustworthy, like with accusations of
someone being kira.
Belarus: Your acting is great, big brother! The camera loves you, and so do I!
Russia: Thanks!
...*whispers to Shadow and mello* Why'd we agree to her being here...?
Shadow: She wouldn't take no for an answer if YOU were here.
--Reality--
Matsuda: We weren't shooting a movie! If we were, why would I claim it as proof of
you being kira? We all know I having nothing against you!
Mello: Remember when you found out we were the ones who decided to give you a
makeover when you passed out at that party?
Matsuda: I DO NOT APPROVE OF BEING CROSSDRESSED!!!!
Shadow: now how do we know you're not just getting back at us? *smirks*
Matsuda: (Curse their clever selves!) Hey! *points at Russia, who has a cell phone*
You look like you're trying to call someone secretly without the rest of us
knowing!
Russia: (Oh drat! He saw me!) *Looks nervous*
Matsuda: What's with the nervous look? You were calling your shinnigami who own
your death note, weren't you?! Kyonshi's their name, isn't it? Just like a trio of
kiras to work with the shinnigami that own their death note, especially with the
shinnigami who are part of Kyukyoku! Everyone knows that they're associated with
death!
Russia: Don't be ridiculous, it's not a cell phone, it's...the chocolate muncher's
medication! ^J^
Mello: Wait-what?! *is force fed cell phone*
Russia: See? ^J^
Shadow: *whispers* You trying to KILL him?! Rule one of the kira trio: no killing
the other two members, even WITHOUT the death note.
Russia: *whispers* It was the best cover-up I could think of!
Matsuda: Hey, whatever you're talking about, you can share with the rest of us! Or
does it reveal that you're kira?!
Russia: -I think it's Belarus' turn to share her story. ^J^
--Belarus' version--
Matsuda: *leading Belarus by her wrist, repeatidly hitting self in the head with
camera* Duuuuuuuhhhhh......
Russia: *shirtless* Comrades, I highly believe against our actions, as I am highly
innocent, but am forced anyway by you two to commit these evil crimes.
Mello: Duuuhh...*idiotic sounding tone* Kyonshi, with your death note, we'll be the
most unstoppable kiras ever! Muhahaha!.....But, duuuuuh, I'm too much of a baka to
know HOW to write....
Shadow: Duuh....Me too! *raises hand and falls on back like an idiot*
Matsuda: Duuh....*idiotic sounding tone* Look, Belarus! They really are kira! It's
on tape, as well as us wittnessing it! Duuuuuuhhhh.....
Belarus: *brings fist down on his head, making him drop the camera* DON'T YOU DARE
FRAME MY BIG BROTHER AS KIRA!!!!
Matsuda: *picks camera up again* Duh, I'll frame him, even though it's really his
two baka comrades who are kira, too!*runs*
Russia: We must stop him! I'm not kira, my comrades are!
Belarus: Don't worry, big brother! We'll stop him from framing you! *leads him* And
big brother, will you marry me?
Russia: Da, and if I deny saying it in the future, I really mean yes, as I am
bashful about it!
Shadow and Mello: *look at moon stupidly and point* Ooooo...Shiny!
--Reality--
Russia: I NEVER agreed to marrying you, and I'm NOT bashful about it! I'm a little
disgusted by it actually...
Matsuda: Hey! The three of us aren't idiots!
Belarus: Yes you are. e_e
L: All your stories are interesting...
Russia: Speaking of that, Belarus, next time I'm in a story of yours, can I be
fully clothed?
L:...As I was saying, I got a call from some friends of our trio here, claming to
know the TRUE story.
Kyonshi: *float in without disguises* (Hi, originals!~)
Shadow: *notices the lack of disguises* WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU THREE ARE DOING?!
Kage: (Helping!)^^
Matsuda: OH MY GOSH!!! IT'S THE SHINNIGAMI THAT OWNS THEIR DEATH NOTE! AND THAT'S
NOT JUST ANY TRIO OF SHINNIGAMI, IT'S KYONSHI! THE SHINNIGAMI THAT WORKED WITH
KYUKYOKU! THIS PROVES THAT THE TRIO'S KIRA!!!!
Mello: Rrrr....YOU IDIOTS!!! *gets up with Shadow and Russia,
ready to throttle Kyonshi*
L: Calm down, everyone. These three have informed me that they are the twins of
these three. *Points at Kage* Bob. *points at Ryuketsu* Stacy. *points at Suru* And
Barbie.
Russia: Our WHAT?! We don't want to be related to the creeps!
L: Now you three, that's no way to treat your siblings.
Trio: Rrrrrr......
Matsuda: Come on, L, you're too smart to be so blind; that's KYONSHI! See the
resemblence? *shows picture of them*
L: Hmmm....I see what you mean. How do you three explain this?
Kage: (...We had plastic surgery.)
L:............
Kyonshi:
L:.....Why can't anyone be happy with the looks they were born with? Can you tell
your version of the story?
Suru: (What story?)
L:...The one you called me about, claming to know the REAL version.
Ryuketsu: (Is that why my original called us for help?)
Matsuda: Ah ha! You WERE calling for help! To help hide the fact you're kira!
L: Enough, Matsuda.
Matsuda: *crosses arms* Hmph...
Kage: (Oh yeah! I remember your original calling for help too!)
Suru: (Me too!)
--flashback--
Kyonshi: *watching answering machine*
Suru: (...It's alive again...)
Kage: *pokes it with katana* (I wonder who it ate this time...)
Machine: *beep* Russia: Kyonshi, it's Russia.
Ryuketsu: KYAAA!! (It ate my original!)
Kage: (I'll save him!) *raises katana*
Machine: Russia: By the way, the answering machine did NOT eat me. It doesn't eat
anyone. We need you to come down to the authority station-NOW! *click*
Suru: (Looks like our originals need us!)
Kage: *brings katana down, slicing answering machine in half*...(After 233 times, it
just feels right.)
--Reality--
Shadow: YOU...?! We've already spent $11,650 on new answering machines in the past
two weeks! Those're expensive!
L: Ok...The story we're looking for is not when you were called, but your version
of Matsuda's tape. *shows it to Kyonshi*
Kage: (how could we be in the magic box and here at the same time?)
Mello: *buries face in hands* Oh, we are SO screwed...
L:..........Are you SURE about them sharing THEIR version?
Russia: I guess we have no choice....
--Kyonshi's version--
Mello: Blah, blah, blah, Kyonshi, blah, blah, blah, kira, blah, blah, unstoppable,
blah, blah.
Matsuda: Blah, blah, blah, kira, blah, blah, blah, tape!
Belarus: Blah, blah, blah, FRAME! *hits Matsuda on head*
--Reality--
L:..........You didn't hear much, huh? :/
Mello: Is that ALL you three hear from us?
Kage: (only when your voices get louder and your faces look like this...)
Kyonshi: *puts on angry face* (Or this!) *puts on angrier face*
Trio: e_e....
Kage: (Besides, we were watching a rock that grew legs and walked away!)
Ryuketsu: (It was so amazing!)
Shadow:...That was a TURTLE.
L: Well, if you didn't hear much, I'm afraid your story isn't too helpful...
Kage: (we're not done yet!)
--Back to Kyonshi's version--
*Belarus and Matsuda run away*
Russia: *points at cat shaped signal in the sky* *gasps* The signal!
Trio: *puts on cat super hero costumes* Kitty Cat Crusaders away!
Kyonshi: *turn into fox forms and jump onto trio's shoulders, wearing capes and
masks* (And Fox Friends too!)
*trio flies into sky, leaving behind a trail of rainbows*
--Reality--
Kyonshi:
Matsuda: O.e....
L: O.O...
Trio: *angry-looking*...*clutching chair arms to restrain selves from getting up and
splattering Kyonshi all over the walls*
Belarus: e.e.....Were you making some sort of reference to the poptart cat?
L:...What does that last part have to do with ANY of this?
Kage: (Oh yeah...We took a nap at home after the event.) ^^
Suru: (I love having that dream.) ^^
Mello: We're NOT cats!
Ryukestu: (Da, you're KITTIES!)
L:...Well, my conclusion...The trio....Is NOT kira.
Matsuda: WHAT?!
Shadow: You heard him, Matsuda.
Matsuda: But WHY, L?!
L: I know how much they despise kira, so why would they want to become one? I
figured it from the start. By the way, Matsuda, it's not nice to have someone agree
to make a movie and try to pose them as kira.
Matsuda: Grrr.... Wait! If you believed it from the start, why have
all this then?!
L:....I get lonely....
Mello: So...No one other then Matsuda thinks we're kira?
L: Pretty much.
Mello: Well, we're off then! ^^
*trio drags Kyonshi out by their tails*
Matsuda: One day, trio...One day you'll be exposed as kira!!!
Belarus: Give it a rest, weirdo. e_e
STOP! Do NOT use unless credit will be given to Wolfie Ookami of the account "LeenaandFriends" of Deviantart.com
If plastic surgery can actually give you wolf ears and tails, I have some searching to do. XD